(This is a rejected column)

This week's column

This is the column I was going to write last week; the column I promised the week before last. The only difference is that, if it had appeared last week it wouldn't have started out like this. It would have just begun:

"This is the column I promised to write this week, last week."

But it didn't appear last week because I came up with a better idea. (City Editor Pamela Henney referred to it as "another idea," but I just consider that splitting semantical hairs)

The problem is, between this week, last week and the week before last, I've forgotten what I was going to write about last week, for this week.

This is not unusual for me. I never have anything particular in mind on a Monday morning, whether we are talking about my column or my life. Usually by Thursday some idea for a column has raised it's ugly head and I manage to groom and sanitize it so that it's presentable to the public; which is more than I can say about myself most of the time.

But as far as my life is concerned, I usually manage to get enough done well enough to get paid for the week and I am satisfied. If you don't ask for much out of life, it will generally oblige you.

Actually, writing this column on a weekly basis is not as difficult as I thought it would be. Sitting on the bottom rung of the literary ladder, as I do, all I really need is to be a little better than my last column, or as good anyway. Some weeks I can be not quite as good in hopes that I will make up for it the next week. Like this week.

One of these days, though I will give myself a challenge, some kind of exercise in creative writing. I think I would like to try to write a column about absolutely nothing someday. But not this week.

Next week: Let's see. If this is last week's column, then next week's column is this week. Does that mean I get a week off?

George Breithaupt is a photographer, reporter and columnist for the Mount Vernon News. If we could make this a disclaimer, we would.