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Cleaning the
Attic
A big project like this requires a good breakfast if it is to succeed. I had visions of bacon and eggs, hash-browns and toast with orange marmalade. Not to mention a big steaming- hot pot of coffee. Except for the coffee of which there was a scant spoonful of instant left in the jar, that's exactly what it was -- a vision. Reality was, a stale English muffin and a partly nibbled slice of pizza from a previous evening. I was not going to take a chance on who or what had done the nibbling, so I selected the bagel (I know I said muffin before but I changed my mind; this is my story and I'm sticking to it!). Everybody knows a stale bagel tastes like dry cardboard, but I will let you in on a special Grumpy Bachelor cooking tip. Soak the bagel in water for a few seconds and then heat in the micro-wave about 10 percent longer than you would for a fresh bagel. Make sure you have a micro-wave before you do any soaking. Now it tastes like damp newsprint, making it easier to swallow, which is more than I can say about the premise of this article. Crumbling a little cream cheese on the bagel when reheating adds a little "je ne sais quoi" (I still haven't looked up that phrase, but I think it's French for ... well, I don't know what.) While I was waiting for the water to boil for the coffee (recipe available on request) I decided to make the bed and get a head start on Spring. While doing that I found a half bag of barbeque flavor potato chips under the covers. Well! This is shaping up to be a decent breakfast after all. If the half-and-half doesn't turn to cottage cheese when I pour it into my coffee, it will be perfect! After finishing a near- perfect breakfast I get ready to tackle the attic. But first there's all this unopened mail piled up on the table to go through. According to the postmarks, some of it goes back to 1996. I really should check it all out incase there's anything important. like somebody wanting to turn something off. I don't like it when that happens. I really don't like having to toast my baloney sandwiches in the fire place. It's like dropping them in an ashtray. When I am finished going through the mail I look at the clock and realize that it is nearly noon and time for lunch. Close enough anyway, I am not going to get any kind of a good start on the attic in an hour and a half. Maybe if I disguise my voice
when I call the Pizza Palace, they will
take a check. NEXT WEEK:
In search of lunch, or; look at that!
It's
time for bed already. George Breithaupt is a
photographer and reporter for the Mount
Vernon
News. Being the Grumpy
Bachelor is HIS problem. |
I got up
last Saturday morning and looked out
the window.
This confused me momentarily
(about half-an-hour) because I had
merely
meant to get out of bed, but
made a wrong turn in the process. When
it
finally dawned on me that my
neighbor's house had not magically
transported
itself into my bedroom, I was
momentarily (about 10 seconds) relieved
. It was a cold and gray day
that I saw, though and I decided right
on
the spot that it would be a
good day to clean out the attic. ( I
don't
really have an attic as such,
but it seemed like a good idea for a
column.
So go along with the gag;
otherwise there's liable to be the
biggest weather
map you've ever seen on this
page today). I'm sure the attic needs
to
be cleaned out and since I
still have that pile of stuff I pulled
out
of my closet a few weeks ago,
I can kill two birds with one stone;
add
to the pile and ... uh ... er
... add to the pile.