The Selling of the Halfmast II

     It was quite a shock to find out about the Halfmast Tavern being sold. It was like a second home to most of us and a first home to some of us. I, myself, was familiar with every nail and splinter in the floor of the Halfmast.
      So we all rushed down to the Halfmast to see if we could find out what was going on. When we got there we found Magillicuddy in the backroom packing up some of her belongings.
       "Lacey." I said, "Whats going on? Did you really sell the Halfmast?"
    &n bsp; "Yes, I really did. By the way, here's your veggies for the next 2 months," she said as she tossed a can of coctail onions to me.
      "But why?"
      "Well, Grumps, if you really gotta know, I haven't had much to do around here lately. I've only been mentioned a couple times in your columns and you guys have been spending all your time at the GBICWWMM,L. It's been pretty quiet down here. So I figure it's time to move on."
      She was right, of course and I felt like a heel. I knew I had to do some fast fence-mending. "So, uh, like, you know, whaddaya gonna do?" It was the only thing I could think of, but nobody else did any better.
      "I'm going into publishing."
      "Publishing?"
      "Yeah, you know, I'm gonna be a writer."
      "You? A writer?"
      "Sure. I've read all your stuff. How hard can it be?"
      My secret was out. I knew the day would come when one of my characters would make that discovery. Luck was with me, however. Everybody else was over at the steam table stuffing brats and sauerkraut into their pockets and didn't hear Lacey.
      My emotions were starting to overwhelm me. Near tears, I leaned close to Lacey and whispered, "Good luck. Now get the (place of everlasting damnation deleted) out."
      Lacey picked up her bags and went out the back door, never looking back. Just then the front door swung open with a bang revealing a shadowy figure looming in the doorway. We all turned and stared. The moment of truth, the moment we all dreaded was at hand. Fear hung heavy in the air above our heads. like the sword of whats-his-name (I promise to look it up before I send this to the printer.)
      Slowly the dark, shadowy figure advanced. Nobody moved a muscle. The figure stopped then spoke.
      "Hi! I'm your Mary Kay representitive."
      Fred and Mack fainted dead away and my legs got pretty shaky. Miss Penny and Intern McShannon grabbed several sharp utensils from under the steam table. The mysterious figure stepped into the light to reveal ... MR. KENT!
      "Surprise! It's only me!"
      Too late. Miss Penny and Intern McShannon let fly with knives forks and anything else they could get their hands on. But they all bounced harmlessly off Mr. Kent's chest. We were were amazed and astounded at the sight, but otherwise didn't give the incident another thought.
      "Mr. Kent," I said, "that was a very dangeroue thing to do. You might have gotten hurt!"
      "Oh I NEVER have to worry about that. But I have foud the information you asked me to get in last week's column."
      (Remember that folks?) "You mean you found the new owner of the Halfmast Tavern?"      (OK, here it comes!) "Yes! She said her name was Kitty Longbranch."
      (Was that worth waiting a whole week for, or what?) As he spoke those words, two shadowy figures appeared in the open doorway behind him.

NEXT WEEK: Mr. Kent introduces the new owner of the Halfmast Tavern, Kitty Longbranch and her assistant, bartender Dacey May.

George Breithaupt is a photographer, copy editor and award- seeking columnist for the Mount Vernon News. If anybody out there knows what the (place of everlasting damnation deleted) he is talking about, please let us know. Oh and don't forget to check out his web site at http://grumpybachelor.iwarp.com or his radio program on "Radio Free Kenyon" WKCO 91.9 FM. If all of you out there write in and encourage him in these other endevours, maybe he will stop coming around the office and scaring us the way he does.